Lollapalooza ’14

I told you I’d eventually get to talking about my experience at Lollapalooza (more than a week later). It’s okay. If people on my Facebook newsfeed are still posting about it, then damn it so can I!

Now if only I could remember . . .

Duh, of course I can remember! Here are the best and worst (in no particular order) from my first Lollapalooza experience:

lollapalooza_lordeThe best: Lorde.

Seriously, what a goddess with that perfectly messy-curled hair and her seizure-like dance moves. What was I doing at sixteen? Trying to pass driver’s ed. Lorde at sixteen performed at Lollapalooza. I’m just going to let that sink in for a little bit while I sob in a corner . . .

I’LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING!

The worst: the rain.

If you were like me and checked the weather ahead of time (for outfit coordination), you could’ve sworn that Sunday was supposed to be the nicest day of the entire weekend. Wrong. Anybody else wear white on Sunday?

The best: Rihanna not stealing Eminem’s spotlight.rihanna-eminem-stan-thatgrapejuice

I’ll admit it. I was a little ticked off when RiRi popped up from Eminem’s stage unexpectedly. I came and paid to see Eminem perform. I was pleasantly surprised that she accompanied him on maybe three songs max and left him to do his own thing. Mad props, Rihanna! I respect your respectful decision.

The worst: Eminem’s lights.

Very apocalyptic, dude. And “firing off” gun shots after your songs . . . that shit don’t fly in Chicago! No bueno.

Iggy+Azalea+2014+Lollapalooza+Day+1+b0lQmJ6TZt2lThe best: Iggy Azalea’s ass.

Seriously, who’s your trainer?! I would pay my life savings for a waist and behind like that. Shoot, I would give a limb for a waist and behind like that! Have mercy.

The worst: Iggy Azalea’s crowd.

You know, you always read about people being trampled or squeezed to death at concerts . . . yea, I was never really concerned about that happening to me until I saw Iggy Azalea and was almost pushed to the ground trying to get to the front.

T0938_lollapalooza_080314_dhhe best: the fire shooters at the Bud Light stage.

Somebody call 911. Shorty fire, burnin’ on the dance floor stage.

I crack myself up!

The worst: the amount of seizing people I saw on go-cart ambulances.

You know, maybe if you’re epileptic, then maybe you shouldn’t even step foot anywhere near the Perry stage. Maybe if you can’t handle your liquor, then maybe you shouldn’t drink too much. Maybe you shouldn’t be popping Molly like prescription Tic Tacs either. Moral of the story: be careful and watch out for yourself.

indexThe best: the $25 wine bottles.

It even came with a novelty water bottle. Can’t beat that deal with a stick!

Plus, if you have more than one, you can sell them on eBay with the marketing line: “This was the bottle that Skrillex himself sipped from during his set. Let’s start the bidding at $1,000, shall we?!”

The worst: the port-o-potties.

At some points during the weekend, you were better off taking a shit in a patch of poison ivy. Does that paint a vivid mental picture for you? Seriously, the thought of having to use those bathrooms makes me cringe.

BuJYD7qIMAEYqBb.jpg_largeThe best: Gesaffelstein.

Smokes like a chimney, but the man’s French, so it’s kind of expected. Maybe advertise the wine bottle as his on eBay . . . ?

If you’re into really dark EDM, I suggest you take a listen. Really good stuff! Must be the cigarettes.

The worst: security.

Could literally walk in with a six-pack and security wouldn’t even know . . .

56814741-16101041-400225The best: security.

Could literally walk in with a six-pack and security wouldn’t even know!

 


Ending with more positives and negatives, that’s all I’ve got. I had a wonderful time at Lollapalooza 2014! I got to see artists I’ve been dying to see, and I got the privilege of seeing artists that I had never even known before.

Until 2015, Lolla!

 

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