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I can thank Catholic school for my new-found disbelief in Jesus Christ.
I’m not Agnostic. I wouldn’t say I’m an Atheist either. Let’s go with Theologist; I find religion exceptionally interesting and try to accept and learn from all religions, for educational and cultural purposes rather than beliefs.
Now how does this tie in with blaming Catholicism?
As I’m sure you can guess, I was born and raised Catholic. This came with a lot of responsibility: professional shirt tucker; altar serving at its finest; being able to pray the Rosary in English, Latin, and Spanish; remembering the saint you’re named after and all of the miracles he/she performed; attending parochial school; etc.
In my nine years at Catholic school, I never felt like I fit in and never did I feel the “love” of our Lord and Savior. Technically, I was the most religious: I sang every song at Mass, I prayed the loudest, and I did the Sign of the Cross after every Eucharist I received. And why? Because I was afraid of going to Hell. Shoot, at one point in my grade school career, I wanted to be a nun because that would definitely guarantee me a ticket into Heaven (and because boys had cooties)! I did all of these things to please Jesus and to save me from the Rapture, but not once did I feel anything.
We’d watch Jesus movies during Lent and kids in my class would cry, not because of the blood and guts, but because they felt the love of God for the first time. If there’s anything those movies gave me, it was a tolerance for Hollywood blood, occasional nightmares, and an “ugh, another crucifixion movie” attitude.
I always went through the motions of being a good Christian (and that might be the most controversial statement in this post), but never put any heart in it. Why? Because no matter how good of a person I am, I am going to be judged.
My friends and classmates judged me on my uniform and how I wasn’t “skinny enough” or “rich enough” to fit into/buy the Abercrombie and Fitch uniform flair bottoms. The priest judged the congregation on their attendance and almsgiving. My teachers judged me and automatically said I had no potential because I was quiet.
I could be the best Christian in the world, but no matter what I do, I’m going to be judged.
Why am I bringing this up, and why am I so harsh on Christianity?
Ryland Whittington, the little girl recently turned little boy. The press is either in favor of her and her parents’ heroic decision or disgusted by the fact that she is now a boy.
An acquaintance I went to college with just posted this post on her Facebook timeline: “This poor child is confused, not ‘transgendered.'” I read the article (actually, skimmed it would be the right term), but what I found more interesting than the article were the comments. You have on Christian posting a comment only to be replied to by a non-Christian, and then that’s replied to by a Christian defending the other Christian, which is then replied to by a non-Christian defending the other non-Christian . . . it’s a continuous ladder of defending one another and judging each other based on beliefs.
Honestly, who cares if Ryland’s a boy now. He’s six-years-old, let him live his life. It doesn’t concern you whether he ends up in Heaven or Hell, does it? Worry about yourself and your own quality of life.
He’s six-years-old. If Ryland wants to be a boy, let her be a boy. One of the commenters couldn’t have said it better:
Maybe [the Whittingtons] will regret it and maybe they won’t, but it is neither your right nor obligation as a human being to post judgement. ~Jenna
No matter what happens, we’re all going to be judged.
Rant over. Grace out.